Well it’s about 6 weeks now since I acquired my maltese/bichon cross Taylor. She is so cute and has taught me so much. One of the issues I had was around how I could care for her adequately, given my inclination to travel out of town regularly. When you live alone you become very independent. For me. the downside of that was that it allowed me to spread my focus. Well, Taylor has improved my focus. Now I only travel for things that really matter. It has made me hone my selection skills. Improve my decision making criteria. Previously these were pretty broad. If it interested me, then I should do it. Now I have to decìde whether it is worth the effort. That is a great strategy for helping you get clear on what really matters. The same principle applies to money. Having less helps you get really clear on what to spend it on. Thank you universe for bring me clarity on an issue which was bugging me 
. There are still plenty left for you to give me a hand with
It’s summer time in New Zealand, and since Xmas we have had the worst weather I can remember in more than 15 years. It seems to have rained non-stop since Boxing Day. Not much fun for campers poor things, (I’ve had my share of washouts when under canvas with my children), but actually I quite enjoyed it for a change. Firstly, I got to do some decluttering which I badly needed to do, but wouldn’t have done if the weather had been fine, and secondly I started a new jigsaw puzzle. Doing jigsaws is an activity which I only allow myself over Xmas, since it is so all-consuming and keeps me up till 2am most mornings, just looking for that next piece.
We wouldn’t appreciate the sunshine if it wasn’t for the rain. Rain gives us the chance to do things we wouldn’t do in the sunshine. Rain reminds us how great the sunshine is. Rain brings growth and renewal. Any rain and sunshine mixed together brings us a rainbox. Or two.
Xmas in New Zealand is the long school holiday as it is summer here right now, and I am taking every opportunity to laze around and read without allowing myself to notice that the carpet needs vaccuuming or that there is washing to be done. I found a gem this week at the local book shop in the book entitled “Embracing Uncertainty” by Susan Jeffers.
As someone who has in the past had a strong need for certainty about most things, it has been really good to remind myself that uncertainty can be exciting and a great opportunity to learn more about ourselves and to explore new paths, rather than a fearful state to be in. You see, the need for certainty can bring great unhappiness and anxiety, while being open to uncertainty can bring excitement and possibiity for a future not yet clear.
Needing certainty can cause us to try to control everything in our lives. We expect people and events to turn out a particular way, and feel let down when they don’t. We adopt certain views about how things “should” be done, and close our minds to the possiblity that there are other and different ways. We form opinions and judge people whose opinions differ from ours. We set goals and make plans but then get attached to the outcomes. It starts to matter to us desperately that we achieve these things, to the extent that we are hugely disappointed when things don’t turn out the way we want them to.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with planning. It is a useful tool to help us move forward and progress towards achieving what we want in life. But we also need to let go of our attachment to how things work out. It’s like saying “whatever happens things will work out fine”. For example, I’d like the new job I have just applied for but it will be OK if I don’t get it. There might be a better job out there, or maybe there is a way that I can make my current job more satisfying. There is nothing wrong with having an opinion either, as long as we are open and accepting to other people whose opinions differ, and are willing to be curious about the reasons they have for those opinions.
Accepting that life is uncertain can be very liberating. The effort required to control everything and the stress often involved in worrying about the way things are going to turn out can be hugely exhausting, and may drain us of energy. How would your life be different if you were able to relax and go with the flow?
The field of NLP (Neuro Linquistic Programming), which looks at how people behave, states that the part of a system which has the most flexibility controls the system. If we extend this idea to ourselves, it means that the more flexible we are and the more options we have to choose from, the more we are likely to succeed. Going with the flow is really about having flexibility – if X doesn’t work out then I will just do Y. Or maybe Z. Developing the flexibility to do and see things differently and be OK with that can be one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.
