Appreciative Living

I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to understand happiness.  I often wondered how people could face difficult, life shattering situations and still be happy.

What I have discovered is that the secret to happiness lies in where you put your attention.  If you put your attention on everything that is bad in life, then you will feel bad.

At least I wasn't driving at the time!

If you put it on everything that is good, then you will feel good.  And most things have a good and a bad side to them.  It is just a matter of choosing which one to focus on.

This has really come home to me recently since studying the work of Jackie Kelm, the author of “The Joy of Appreciative Living”.  In this book Jackie illustrates the power of looking for the good in even the most difficult situation.  It will be there – it is a matter of being willing to find it.

The problem for most of us is that we have learnt the habit of noticing what is wrong before we notice what is right.  Of seeing the problem before the possibility.  Over time that habit becomes so engrained that we create brain connections which mean our thinking becomes automatic.  How do we fix it? – by practising the habit of noticing what is good first.  Changing thinking habits can help to get create new pathways in our brain, allowing us to get out of those old thinking habits and develop new ones.

Here’s a good way to start changing your thinking – everyday write down 3 things you are grateful for.  If you really want to find more happiness in your life, write down something you are grateful for in a difficult situation you are experiencing.  Or write down something you admire in someone you find difficult to deal with.  Persevere – it can be difficult but it is possible to do!  That person at work who drives you nuts will have some great qualities – you may just have to look a little harder to find them.  And be willing to look.  Remember, the thing about them that the greatest pain is also probably their greatest strength.

If you want to experience more joy in your life, get in touch.  You’ll be amazed how how simple it can be.